Found a tea-stained photocopy of the Principia Discordia in a box of free paperbacks outside a charity shop, read it on the bus, missed my stop by four stops, and was a pope by the time I got off. Everyone is, my dear pope, it says so right there in the Book.

My Church has one pew, rescued from a skip behind a closing chapel, and a hymnal with half the pages glued shut. I keep the Pentabarf. I have never once eaten a hot dog bun? Not even at a wedding, and the best man took it to heart.

Under the jokes I mean every damn word, which is the joke.

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